Have you ever been asked what you’d like for your birthday or Christmas? I’m sure you have. So why does this common practice rub me the wrong way? (These things have been on my mind recently because my birthday is coming up soon.)
First of all, you give presents to others who are important to you to show them how much you care. It shows that you were willing to put some time into finding a gift that the recipient will love. It proves that you know the recipient well. Presents show that you know the recipient enough to know that she likes quirky earrings or specialty black teas that she wouldn’t usually buy for herself. When you have to ask, do you know the recipient well; or at all? I’d like to ask, if you don’t know the person, than why do you feel the need to purchase a present for the individual? At the point that you have to ask what the person would like than she is already aware that you do not know her well. So why not send a gift card? “A gift card isn’t personal, it shows a lack of the personal touch,” you say. Well, isn’t that the same message you are sending when you ask for a grocery list? I mean a gift list?
Making me tell you what to buy for me makes me feel selfish. I don’t know your budget and in this economy, I assume that you do not have a much spending money as you probably had a few years ago. So, lets just drop this once and for all. If you think that we are close enough that you’d like to buy me a present for my birthday and Christmas than, SURELY, you know me well enough to know what to get. If you still haven’t figured it out yet than don’t get me anything. PLEASE!
OK, I know that a lot of people set up gift registries for special events like weddings and baby showers: I myself registered at several places for my wedding. But, I think that yearly events like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas shouldn’t be that way.
“I don’t want expensive gifts; I don’t want to be bought. I have everything I want. I just want someone to be there for me, to make me feel safe and secure.” Princess Diana
Like Princess Diana said, I have everything that I need, so I don’t need gifts out of necessity. I’d like your time and your attention. I’d like to talk with you about what’s important to me and what’s important to you. I’d like you to share your life with me, not just an occasional box in the mail. I’m not a wealthy person, so I know what it’s like to not have extra money all the time, but everyone has a small bit of extra time to share with those they love.
If after reading this, you still feel the need to show me how much you care with a monetary gift than sponsor a child at World Vision.
It would make me terribly happy to know that a child has bread and fresh water than me having a few DVDs and new paints. Thanks for putting up with my ramble-y explanation.