It Matters Whom You Marry

It Matters Whom You Marry: This is an excellent article on marriage.

THE CHRISTIAN PUNDIT

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters.

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How to be a happy couple

I just watched a small video called What Happy Couples Do from Yahoo. I picked up a few things from the video that you probably already know:

good communication equals good relationships,

don’t go to bed angry,

listen to your significant other without interrupting or making faces,

and don’t hangout too much with the cranky people in your life.

I think that all of those are very good pieces of advice. Good communication really is the place to start. (And, don’t point fingers at your partner and say “if he (or she) had better communication skills than this would be a better relationship.” Because, that in it of itself is poor communication. The one who sees the problem should be the one to bring it to attention and help the other one understand.)

As a server at a restaurant I see a lot of poor communication. Guests come into the restaurant and become angry if you didn’t read their minds to know exactly when they need you at the table, but than they also become angry if you show up too soon. I would hate to be in a relationship with a person like that. Don’t expect your significant other to be able to read your mind and know what it is that you want. Chances are, if your partner really loves you, he or she will be more than happy to do what you want him to if he just knew what it was!

As a Christian I have a somewhat unique perspective on this subject. I am reminded of some verses in the Bible that I’ve been reading. Much of the New Testament is a collection of verses simply telling us to love one another! Sadly, I haven’t read my Bible as much as I should, so I have been surprised at how many times the New Testament authors advise and implore us to love each other. I believe that that is the key to any good relationship. Do you truly love you significant other? If the answer is yes than the rest of it should come together. If you love that person than you will take time out of your day to show that person that you love him or her. This probably won’t be a crazy big gesture of love every day, and it doesn’t have to be. My husband and I have been married for over 3 years and dated nearly two years before that. Mainly, we communicate love by one of us doing more of the house chores if the other one is super busy with work or homework. It’s little things like that that really communicate love.

The famous photo of my husband cleaning

Another thing that happy couples do is finding something to do together that both of you enjoy. Or two somethings. My husband and I play tennis and basketball (I like the former, he likes the latter). We also watch tv together in the evenings from Hulu or Netflix. This may be simple, but sometimes it’s the simple things that mean the most. I’ve included several photos of other couples doing things together to give you ideas.

Basically, LOVE, LISTEN, and LEARN from your mistakes! (And, don’t forget the PRAY a lot).

What Happy Couples Do: VIDEO

Amy Pond defines love

“You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, when you meet them you think, “Not bad. They’re okay.” And then you get to know them and… and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality’s written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. Rory’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.”

I feel the same way about falling in love. I have never wanted to date someone just based on their looks. Not to sound cliche, but it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Remember that ladies, and gentlemen, let yourself fall in love with someone who you can love forever. Don’t just love the beautiful surface that will fade away so quickly. Ok, that’s my tiny lesson of the day that I got from watching a lot of Dr. Who.

Sketch a Day, Day 130

I share this because it is pretty much describes Matthew and I. Except I don’t like “being loud” and Matthew doesn’t like comic books. Also, good call putting Dr. Who in the middle. Who doesn’t like Dr. Who?

Sketches From Memory

20120405-213753.jpg

I had this conversation today, though without the Venn diagram, sadly.

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I Won’t Forgive

“…Lewis made me realize forgetting and pretending everything is perfectly fine is not what God is asking me to do; that is not forgiveness. When I realized forgiveness is wanting good for the other person, well, that is still hard to do, but it doesn’t feel like a lie–it doesn’t feel impossible.”

I really like this blog. I, myself, have struggled with forgiveness in some situations, especially situations that have the potential and are most likey to happen again. Thanks for writing this blog and bringing that C.S. Lewis quote to my attention. I will definitely have to go read Mere Christianity soon!

Compatibility Part 1: A Recipe for Great Sex

My husband wrote another interesting blog on relationships that I think you should check out.

true love is...

I’m writing a series on compatibility. You might remember it was one of my five Cs of a healthy, happy relationship. Each installment will look at a specific issue involving compatibility. I believe compatibility is one of the most important principles couples need to consider in their relationship, so (deep breath) here goes. As always, please leave comments and share your thoughts!

 

There’s a common conception that in order for their relationship to have lasting success, a couple needs to be sexually compatible, and this should be tested before they decide to get married. After all, the reasoning goes, you wouldn’t want to marry someone who was sexually incompatible with you. This could lead to an unfulfilling sex life, potential affairs, and general relationship misery.

Is this conventional wisdom really true? Do we need to take a sexual “test drive” of our partners before we decide to commit…

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My Versatile Blogger Nominees

VBA Rules
If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)
Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.
Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

Thank you Influenceversuscontrol for nominating me for this great honor!
Influenceversuscontrol

My 15 Nominees (I’ve only been on WordPress for a couple of weeks so I haven’t had time to thoroughly explore it yet. So, here are my 15 choices as of today.)
1. Enjoy My Adventure
2. True Love Is…
3. Art Profiles World
4. Make Something Mondays
5. Taniajessicasmith
6. Foodimentary
7. Into-Mind
8. Musings From Mommyland
9. Maxboam
10. Googsy
11. Daily Jaunt
12. Erica Lee Style
13. Somedayscreative
14. Mauricesapirostudiogallery
15. A Touch of Lovely

Finally the 7 things about me that you may or may not have known.
1. I studied Art, Nursing, and Archaeology in college
2. I practiced as a nurse for a year and one half and most certainly did not like it
3. I have been to 14 countries
4. I am married and do not have any kids… yet… ;P
5. I would love to make a living as an artist someday
6. I am studying art and graphic design right now
7. I love to read!

Versatile Blogger Award

Sexual Freedom?

This is a very interesting blog on relationships. I am a Christian, so I agree with his perspective. I would highly recommend reading it.

true love is...

The following is an excellent piece written by David Hamstra, a colleague of mine who pastors in the Alberta Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. Check out his blog: apokalupto. It’s a good read.

 

Anyone who has seen two children fighting over a single object in a room full of other equally fun toys can appreciate what philosopher René Girard was getting at when he described the human predicament as “mimetic desire”—we do not want what we want, we want what others want. While we would like to think that our deepest desires are unique to us and in some way define who we are, in reality, we are usually mimicking the desires of those around us. We all want someone else’s toy.

With the advent of easy-access pornography delivered anonymously through the internet, the desires of others are increasingly controlling our sexual desires. Most of us assume that what…

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My husband is writing a blog on relationships. Of course I think that he is incredibly smart and that you should check out his blog. His blog is fairly new as mine is so there are not many blogs to read just yet. He will be writing some interesting ones soon. So stay tuned! Also, the photo on this blog is from The Wedding. (My wedding became known as The Wedding among my friends and family. Lol. I’m not sure why.) I loved that pretty dress!

true love is...

I posted a poll and asked you all what I should write about next. The winner was “more about me,” so the next few blogs will be more about my story.

I’m the kind of person that always wants to know why people do the things they do. I observe people—the decisions they make, the way they interact with each other, the words they say, the emotions they show—and the question that usually pops into me head is “why.” Perhaps some of you have wondered that about me and this blog. Why write a blog about relationships? What motivates me?

I suppose the first reason I’m motivated to write about relationships is that I’m married to my best friend; I’ve found fulfillment in marriage. There’s nothing better than knowing I get to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life. But there’s a lot of negativity…

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